Bring on the Night

A newbie Laowai’s notes on Chinese public bathing for foreigners

You enter the joint while all employees look at you with awe and say “Ni hao” (this is the version where they’ve actually seen you before). Then you let your Chinese wife do the buying of fat laowai washing time, as you flip flop in your slippers (that your father-in-law bought for you) to the bench to change to another pair of slippers. You then lock your own slippers into a cabinet with the key you were handed when you came. As you sit there the male employee with the crocked eye recognizes you and pats you on the arm and says something in Chinese. You’re not sure whether he’s being friendly or just wants to touch the foreigner. Continue Reading »

Tags: bathing, China, Humour, rant

8th July 2007 Yilan

Woke up at 8am. I started writing up on all that has gone on here for the last days. So many new impressions, but not enough time to get it all down on paper.

While I sat alone and wrote this stuff, 2 mothers came by with their children. C’s sister is somewhat of an artist and has a huge drawing talent. She also gives private tutoring in her home and as we live here, someone pops up from time to time. As you probably would have guessed I do my best to explain that she is not here, and that they should call the number written on the note on the door, But alas they don’t understand. Every time it ends up with them loosing patience and dragging their child down the stairs while smiling politely. Ting bu dong, ting bu dong.. Continue Reading »

Tags: China, denmark vs china, dinner, food

7th July 2007 Yilan

We woke up at 7.00am. After a quick wash and toothbrush, I vrote a whole lot on this blog. At least 3 hours worth, which felt really good after many days of missing out. C went shopping for some stuff meanwhile.

We went to C’s parents to meet up with her elder sister who is only here for a short time. Therefore C and her family want to make most of it. We stayed there for lunch and as usually there were plenty of food. Since I’ve arrived C’s family have made an extra effort cook many dishes and those considered of my liking. This is of course a big honour, but it also makes me feel like somewhat of a burden. I told C many times to let them know I should not get special treatment, but C is afraid to mention it anymore, since her father semi-scolds her and calls her a child who does not know about manners. This included me saying no to liquor, which her father just won’t accept when C translates it. Continue Reading »

Tags: China

6th July 2007 Yilan

Woke up at about 6am. I was thirsty as hell. C’s sister’s apartment has no air-condition, but I’m getting used to that. Well that is, I’m getting used to sweating like there’s no tomorrow and not caring about it.

Attacked the toilet again. As expected it was not a pretty sight and even though I was prepared for that to happen during my time here, I would rather have been without it. So I’m not complaining, but still crossing my fingers for a quick recovery. I’m not in pain or anything. I’m just hit by the culture shock of foreign bacteria flora.

We brushed teeth and packed our stuff together. Then we walked towards C’s parent’s home. Close by our goal, C stepsister waved to us from a 3-wheeled taxi as she raced by. 50m ahead the taxi stopped and she jumped out and invited us to follow her to her work. It’s a nearby school for 6-8 years old (my guess) where she was teaching. She showed us some drawings on the walls that she’d made for the children, as we followed her to her class. The children were, as always, stunned by my presence and didn’t want to say anything. Eventually one finally shouted out a “hello” and almost couldn’t stop again. The next generation of “hello’ers” are almost done. Continue Reading »

Tags: China, china vs denmark, drinking, karaoke, school

5th July 2007 Yilan

Stardate 0 plus 5 moon days. Captain’s log. We’re orbiting the 3rd moon on the planet Quazar before vectoring to the sector 7 landing zone on Quazar. The Quazarians are a friendly race, but their customs are very different from us earth people’s. The planet itself is a strange sight and can’t be compared to anything else.

I’m not on Quazar, but I might as well be.

After having scrambled from the train station to the bus station, we found ourselves on our way to Yilan. It was a comfy bus, and nothing like I’d expected from reading the experiences on expats blogs. I’m sure I just got lucky. The bus itself is not new, but it’s still an acceptable ride.

Safety is not something you worry about much here.

There’s plenty of room and not too many people. If you disregard the stench from the bus toilet and the vomiting noises from the girl who has to go once an hour, it’s actually pretty cool. Continue Reading »

Tags: bathing, China, drinking, driving, family, food

4th July 2007 Beijing

Got up and went for some breakfast. We decided on a baker. I love bread and never tasted bread from a real Chinese baker before. “Bread” may be taking my mouth too full. All the 4 different breads we had, was like eating very sweet and odd textured cake. It’s ok, but not what I expected. I have to admit, that I won’t be eating that for breakfast again if I can avoid it. I may pick up one for my sweet toot another day, but it’s not what I would define as a meal.

Continue Reading »

Tags: beijing, China, harbin, shopping, train, traveling

3rd July 2007 Beijing

Up at 8.30 a bit wrecked in my back from the hotel bed. It’s a good bed but too hard on my comfy Danish pork back. We headed down on the hotel diner to catch some breakfast. Acceptable selection of food of and cheap as always.

C had an idea to go to a nearby barbershop to get some curls done. She rambled on about this for more than 6 months now, so I guess it was finally the right time. She held on for a long time, so it would fit her hair being longer and a chance to take advantage of the low pricing in China.

I followed her. Not because I enjoy sitting around doing nothing, but because I’m bloody curious about everything Chinese and enjoy observing things. Beats idling in the hotel room anyway. At the shop C asked me if I wanted a hair wash and neck massage. I asked the price and was told 10 kuai. No Danish wallet with backaches can turn down that offer, so I accepted and was given the full treatment. While C got her curls (not permanent), I had my hair washed and was given an extreme lengthy head, neck, shoulder, arm and back massage. At least 45 mins and I suspected being given a wrong more expensive treatment. But no. 10rmb and that was worth every penny! I told C that I considered going there every morning for that price. C told me it would probably be even cheaper in Yilan where her family lives, so I think the budget will hold up fine no matter how many I get on this trip. Continue Reading »

Tags: beijing, blogging, China, park

2nd July 2007 Beijing

8.20am I was fully refreshed again from a good 8 hours sleep. Not sure the jet-lag is gone, but sure feels that way right now.

Ate breakfast at the hotel diner for 10RMB. Ok breakfast. Nothing fancy, but the food did what it was meant to do. We were full as we left to go to the Forbidden City. Oh yes – it’s a couple of touristy days here in Beijing. What’s to say about the Forbidden City? Its big and under repair. Besides that I weren’t surprised. Cool to have seen it and all, but probably won’t be back again. Bought a commie hat and a book of Famous Mao Zedong Quotes. Can’t be more kitsch than that, eh? When in Rome and so on. Continue Reading »

Tags: beijing, China, hotel, restaurant

1th July 2007 Beijing

Landed in Beijing 35 min after schedule. The passport business was easier than expected, though the laowai line was slower that the one my wife could use. The officer checking out my papers was fast and smiling. I would be smiling too, if I had 5 buttons for the costumers to rate me by. I pressed the maximum number 5 for ‘Great job’. Not sure if I just felt sorry for the guy, or read wrong and thought it said “Rate my rack”. Too much time on the Internet for me I guess.

The luggage was retrieved fast, so we headed for the exit to find the SAS office where we could get our money voucher of 150EURO paid in cash. Many misleading signs and 4 times of asking for directions later we finally found it but only to discover that the office weren’t allowed to pay the cash (as we were told in Copenhagen that they could). These 2 offices need to get their stories straight, but ok, we’ll just get them when we go back to Denmark. Money is money.

Instead I withdrew some cash in an ATM and we hooked up with a cab. C started the Chinese show in the front seat as I sat in the back and understood nothing at all. The driver didn’t know the hotel, but we fixed it with a phonecall. 30 min later we arrived at the 3 stared hotel. Not the best I’ve seen, but certainly not the worst. Actually C did a good job finding it and we’re both pretty happy about it. Friendly staff, but no English speakers, of course. The room is tiny, but covers all our needs. One chair, a table, a bed, a tv, a bathroom with sink and shower. Then there is the extremely slow internet connection and, of course, my arch enemy – the Chinese hotel western toilet. This one was even worse at flushing than the one which brought me so much trouble in Shenzhen. As usual there is not a toilet brush in sight so just cross your fingers. Continue Reading »

Tags: beijing, China, massage, restaurant, shopping

30th June 2007 Aalborg-Beijing

Note: the Internet on the hotel is pretty unstable. It’s there, but accessing some sites is next to impossible. Using outlook to send emails is no good, and I have to use a sluggish webmail to send we-have-arrived-safe-and-sound-mails to my relatives. This also means that posting this entry took ages and correcting grammar will probably not be done. Please bear with replies on emails and comments section until we are in Yilan where C’s family lives.

What a boring roadtrip to Copenhagen. It rained cats and dogs for more than half of the 3½-4 hours we drove. At least I was not the only one crying. Fortunately I had our chauffeur – The Stig/Kojak – to help me bitch. Arriving at the airport, we were dropped of by The Kojak. Thanks for the ride dude. Continue Reading »

Tags: beijing, China, flying, hotel, travelling

This is officially the last entry I make from Denmark the next month or so forward. Tomorrow morning we’ll hand over the keys to the apartment for my scary friend Gregers, who’ll be living here while we age gone. 9.30 The Kojak will pick us up and drag race us to Copenhagen airport.

I hope to post a “we’re arrived” when we get there, but it may be The Kojak who is emergency editor/poster/paster on BOTN while we’re away.

If you meet a charming fat sweaty hairy, and of course, pale guy in Beijing unaware of the piece of Beijing duck dangling from his teeth, that may be me. So if you recognize me, do wave, but please don’t shout “hello!”.

Tags: blogging, China, Denmark

Scary stuff found at The 88s

Is it a joke? Not quite sure. A few of the observations may have some truth to them, but these drown all the misconceptions. Interesting reading nevertheless. But scary… Did I mention scary?

Tags: China

Tags: Denmark, Humour, movies, news

It’s soon now. Only 4 days before we’ll be on a plane towards Beijing.

We’re as ready as can be with the obvious exceptions. We need packing the few things that can’t be fixed before the last day anyway. Stuff like toothbrush, shampoo, shaving gear, mobile phones, gadget-chargers and so on. Then there’s the note for the folks living in our home while we’re away describing how to keep the freaking tomato plants happy and so on.

Friday my brother will come and give me a ride to my other brother and his girlfriend who, in what must have been dim-witted moment, agreed to look out for our rabbits.

Then Saturday The Kojak will pick us up, and we’ll head to Copenhagen Airport.

Not nervous about meeting my in-laws yet, but I’m sure that will hit me the day before we arrive.

Ps.: A big thanks to The Kojak for lending us his cool car the last 14 day while he were on vacation. You’re in for a hug and a kiss on your shining forehead when I see you later today.

Tags: beijing, China, family, traveling

Celebrating Sct. Hans Evening in Norresundby (Aalborg)

Tags: aalborg, tradition

Our tomato plants’ height one week ago (now one of them is bending of the ceiling)

Tomatoes start growing

Hope at least one is ready to eat before we go on holiday

Oh, and if you ever marry a Chinese woman make sure never to tell her about the existence of tomato plants….. and rabbits now we’re at it….

Tags: china vs denmark, plants, Tomato

Tags: Humour, movie, news

These are some of the search strings people used and ended up at this site recently. One may wonder what goes through peoples heads some times. From what I can make of a few of them, there must be a lot of sicko’s out there:

crappy facts 20 jun
much to learn you still have 20 jun
bringing a laptop to china 20 jun
life experiense 19 jun
plant hell 18 jun
Night mare daughter 18 jun
women’s issues octoberfest blog 18 jun
stupid hot 18 jun
podcast of similarion 17 jun
cool words night 17 jun
bring on the night password 17 jun <— Should I be alarmed?
****** station 16 jun < — One word censored due to Great Firewall probs
lost baggage at aalborg airport 16 jun
women in america unrealistic spoiled 13 jun
making round shoelaces 13 jun
danish guys adultery 13 jun
a night in china preview 13 jun< — P0rn movie if you’re in doubt
smell meat sofa art gallery 13 jun
what should i bring going on a horse night ride 11 jun
forced to suck sock 10 jun
manly color 7 jun
****** humour 7 jun < — One word censored due to Great Firewall probs

Tags: internet, keywords

According to China Law Blog, deleting the naughty post may not be enough to unblock me permanently from the Great Firewall, so I followed Kevin’s advice and installed Tor which should enable me to access my blog from China. It will be crusial to my blogging in July, since we go there on vacation this summer.

I tried out Tor a bit and it’s very sluggish, but the alternative is not interesting. If worst comes to worst, I may have to include my buddy Kojak as editor on ‘Bring on the Night’ and let him post for me. Scary thought.

Tags: ban, China, gfw

Seems that I’m now blocked in China.

Not quite sure what did the trick, but Kevin suggested that it might be the entry where I bashed people for not treating their animals with respect. If so, it had almost the quite opposite result.

I used a another negative word to describe how horses are sent away to farms to be “force impregnated” which apparently is a no-go.

So now I made the post private and hope for the best.

If it is not fixed before going to China, I might need to go other ways to update the blog. For now I cross my fingers that I don’t have to.

Tags: ban, China, gfw