A few days ago I read an interesting article about the “losing face” thing that is common in China.
I understand the concept, but I think you need to stay in China many years to fully know exactly what triggers it. I guess it’s some of the more horrible examples you can read on Talk Talk China. As always most entries seem to spark the readers’ aggression and inspire Trolls to write when the 3 D’s blog. So read the commenting with a grain of salt.
Anyway, it made me remember an episode I experienced when I was in China.
For those who have not read this blog before, let me summarise:
I was visiting my girlfriend (C.) in China. I stayed at Petrel Hotel in Shenzhen.
The hotel was great, but I had one bad experience. Even though the bathroom – by western standards was great – and had a “normal” toilet (by Danish terms), there was one thing that bugged me: The toilet drain was horrendous. Flushing the toilet was a lottery. Either you were lucky, or in deep shit. Well, I could always rely on it to flush a “standing ovation”, but if you had to do a bomb run the chance for success was minimal. How I found out? Don’t ask.
A few days after my arrival, the nightmare began. After a good long sit-down the toilet acted up. It took a dual flush to resolve the problem, but then it seemed ok again. Then a day or two later in the evening it happened again. This time I had no luck in retries. Of course there was no toilet brush to help me tickle the big porcelain mound to swallow. So I decided to give it a last ‘flush & go’ the next morning. As expected….. no dice.
What to do but grab a hold in the lady who did the cleaning. Oh my, did I see that one coming. She was a woman of maximum 160cm high in her late 40’s, but she almost made me crap my pants. I am still not sure what she said exactly, but the message was clear: It was my fault and apparently I used too much toilet paper (which I actually was pretty sure I didn’t). I believe she must have put a few “Die you filthy fat laowai, die!” or similar in her outburst of Chinese scolding. Furthermore she gestured towards the lidless trashcan, but surely she could not mean that I should throw used toilet paper in there? I just smiled nervously and left the hotel room as fast as possible and heard her angry voice fading out. Hell – I would be angry too if I had to clean that mess. When I returned in the evening, the toilet looked ok again.
A few days later it happened again. This time I am sure I did not use too much toilet paper. Some times I learn from former mistakes (let this be noted, please), so I was extra careful in the amount of toilet paper used pr flush.
It was morning, and C. was on the steps. We had agreed to meet at the hotel lobby. When I met her I let slip that the toilet was broken and told her the whole horror story. I must have hit a nerve or something, because C. fired up and headed straight towards my hotel room floor, dragging me behind her as an overstuffed toy bear. She found the cleaning lady and started a discussion. From what I could figure out, the cleaning lady tried not lose face and admit that the toilet was broken, so she insisted that all used paper should be disposed in the trashcan. Instead of apologizing to me for letting her steam out (probably because her life sucked, and I was nearest when she found out) she denied. Result: She got overheated again and so did C.
Apparently the debate between the two ended as a draw, which infuriated C. further. She then dragged me to the lobby and gave the reception a hard time too. I think they lost face as well, since all people in the lobby (and nearest countries) had to be both blind and deaf not to know that the toilet and cleaning lady was rubbish. I guess the reception staff got so embarrassed so they immediately pointed to the assistant manager who luckily was at his desk also in the lobby (actually this was the only day I saw him, and what a day to pick for work). Basically he got a good scolding too, and I only heard him say very few words. He was embarrassed as hell, and one of the few repeated words he said that I understood was ‘sorry. Sorry.. sorry’.
After this incident the toilet was problem free, though I must admit that I was extra careful during later visits. I never saw the cleaning lady again, but I didn’t exactly look for her. I won’t be surprised if the manager fired her at all. Losing face in China is not just a red face and soon forgotten.
This has happened to me too. Albeit I scurried away from the loo without taking responsibility. I later learnt that small piping doesn’t lend itself to a big load so to speak.
Putting the poo + paper in the pail is pretty common in Shanghai and around China.
Uhh… Right now I’m happy to be living in Denmark. :-)
Thanks for linking to Talk Talk, Peter. What a great site!
I can’t count how many incidents I’ve had similar to you and the toilet or hassles with store clerks etc I’ve had since I’ve been here.
The latest was with C and I were shopping on the weekend. I could see this coming a million miles away but pretty much kept my mouth shut (until later when I unloaded some untelligible gibberish to the idiot clerk). C made one purchase which entitled her to a coupon for an instant “lucky draw.” That’s when my CrapolaSinola radar kicked in, and the needle hit the red zone.
We trek up two floors to a “VIP” area where – huge surprise! – she wins! She’s ecstatic. I only see visions of shit hitting a fan. Her prize? Another coupon! Which entitles her to a meager discount at another store area another 15,489 meters away. We arrive. She finds a red night gown for 20percent off. We take the coupon and night gown to a clerk who tells her: “No deal! Won’t honor the coupon blahblahblah.”
C stands firm and argues.
Clerk whines but doesn’t relent.
This goes on seemingly forever and is probably still going on in a parallel universe.
C finally goes back to the “VIP” place and brings back the woman who gave her the coupon.
C and the VIP lady argue with the clerk who won’t budge.
I call the the clerk the “c—-” word in English which doesn’t help or hurt because she has no clue except my red face and angry expression.
C gives her number and name to the VIP lady and we finally leave with no night gown and a vague promise that it will all be made right “very soon.”
We’re still waiting…
Always happy to share great links.
At least when I had my experience about the toilet in China, I was still a Chinese “face” newbie. This meant that I pretty much just looked in awe at the scenario unfolding before my eyes. So instead of getting angry “Danish style” I just ended up with at an empty glare and watched as my wife gave them a bashing.
Lets make a wager. I say you’ll never hear from that VIP lady again, Justin. You pick the opposite, ok? :-)