Bring on the Night

Yes – the kid is to the left. Hard to decide whos cuter, right?

Sure I messed up my clothes while eating, but could do with a bite more you know?

…being alone with 3 yakking Chinese mothers and their 3 screaming infants.

Well now that I think about it, it’s either that or a warm gun.

Tags: china vs denmark, Humour, man vs woman

At the party celebrating our son’s baptism I watched C happily munching away on a piece of watermelon. She suddenly stopped eating, and looked to her left where the Chinese guests sat. She then looked around to the other guests and said: “Why are only the Chinese eating?”.

Another one of those “happy pig” trucks.

The sign says “stress free”, which is hardly the case, but what do I know. And sure, I’ll eat the stressed buggers if I find part of them in my supermarket freezer.

Tags: animals, humanity

Watching the World Cup Soccer tournament?

I am. At least the Danish matches even though we didn’t get a good start loosing 0-2 to Holland (well-deserved by the way).

I would’ve been keener on watching other matches too, but to be honest, I get annoyed by the constant noise of the bloody Vuvuzela horns after 3 minutes. I tried adjusting the audio settings on the TV but even so, the sound is overshadowing everything. Turning the volume down will make me loose half of what the commentators say. So that’s not a real option either. I have read that the TV producers do their best to isolate the noise, so the commentators are easier to hear, but they can’t. It is that loud. And it’s not like its a sing-along tune or a rhytmic chant. Nope, just a plain and neverending honk.

Today I read in the newspaper that the decibel of the horns is comparable to a F16 Fighting Falcon. They can go as far as 127dB. In Denmark 85dB is the maximum allowed in workplaces. A constant of 100dB in over 15minutes can give you permanent hearing damage. Sure going to a rock concert will do the same for you, but why encourage loud noise in sports too?

FIFA made an official statement that they’ll not ban the horns from the matches, arguing that they respect the tradition of different nations. I even read a FIFA official say that it’s only a tiny group of people that’s against the horns. I hardly think that’s the case, but on the other hand, I too, don’t base that on any statistics. I can’t help but think that there might be big money involved.

I do respect other nation’s right to have different traditions, but there has to be a line where celebrating and annoying meets. To me the horns are way past celebrating and miles into the annoying zone. Soccer is a sport where you communicate with your teammates and the referee blows a whistle to control the game. Both are next to impossible to hear in the infernal noise.

So what the point in the horns? Personally I can’t find any, but I guess most pro-vuvuzela would argue that they are:

Supporting your team – Not quite sure the players can differ who you “cheer” for anyway.

Making a good mood – If blasting your tympanic membrane is a mood enhancer, then yes.

Or in short: There is no reasonable argument or maybe I just don’t get it?

I’m a conservative grumpy old man, granted, but I still haven’t heard anyone say that the Vuvuzela horns are a blessing to the sport. On the other hand, I’ve heard many say that they are extremely annoyed by them.

Soccer is a spectator driven sport, and when people consider turning off the TV, or not going to a match because of the noise, maybe it’s time for FIFA to rethink their argument?

Oh, and don’t get me started on the newly designed “Jabulani” football too.

Jabulani: Officially produced to make the game faster and increase number of goals pr. match. Unofficially a product made to increase income with the side effect of adding more fumbles in-game. Do I hear a silent “yay!”?

Vuvuzela horn is now proudly added to my blacklist.

Tags: black list, Rants

As I wrote in the last post, we’ll have our son baptised in church soon.

To be honest, it’s not really what I want, being a huge fan of FSM and not so much religion.

In a weak moment a few years ago, I told C that she could decide whether or not our first kid should do a full traditional baptism with church and all, or we should drag ourselves to the local municipality and get him registered.

C opted for the first choice and left me with the headache. Its really against my principles, but I like to think that I’m a man of my words too. It sucks, but on the other hand, I stayed a member of the church paying my extra annual 0.83 percent in tax for the same reason.

I don’t mind people being religious, and I basically think people should believe in whatever they want as long as they respect others right not to.

Here I am, paying taxes for something I don’t believe in, and if I decide to use the church services, I feel guilty. So yes, I am a hypocrite caught between my own promises and principles. I hate it. If I consider it a pure business deal, then I have no issues getting Mark baptised in Church (I paid good money over 20 years), but given my own principle to respect other peoples beliefs, I kind of step over the line by taking advantage of the church’s services without really believing in god.

This is a sure lose-lose situation with C on one side and the protestant church (and my own principles) on the other side. Who will I disappoint? The decision is easy, when I think about it. C is what matters most to me and I can bite my tongue for the hour it takes in Church. But why do I feel like such an asshole then?

Tags: family, fsm, Mark, religion

C has a very good friend in Harbin. She has been extremely helpful with train tickets and similar, both when we visited China in 2007 and last summer when C’s parents were visiting us here in Denmark.

A few months ago she even sent us a gift to our newborn son. Its 2 silver bracelets that we plan on him wearing when we get him baptised in a month or so. We were both touched by the beautiful present and wanted to return the favour by sending a box of gifts and made sure to put “strange” Danish stuff there too.

The box contained things like: A summer dress for her daughter (probably made in China), some bags of dried pasta, chocolate, different candy, fish in oily pepper sauce and bottles of pesto paste (the post office in China refused to pass on the pesto though).

Some of the candy we sent is a Danish speciality called Tyrkisk Peber (Turkish Pepper). They are hard liquorice bonbons with hot powder inside. Not everyone here in Danmark like them, but since we went for surprising gifts, those seemed to fit the bill. It was either those or “Super Piratos”, which is a softer, but also a strong liquorice candy that will make your mouth look like you chew tobacco.

A few days after C’s friend got the gift box, she wrote to C on QQ. She was wondering what to do with the Tyrkisk Peber candy, since they tasted awfully. She was sure they had to be eaten or prepared a special way. C’s friend even tried putting them in the oven or microwave. The result was a minor candy explosion. The idea of roasting them, came from the flames drawn on the bag. The flames Danes will normally consider a sign of “spicy/hot” and not “roast me”.

I told C to tell her friend that she should bite the candy over to taste the filling next time. We haven’t heard from her since, but I guess I won’t be popular when we do.

Tags: china vs denmark, chinese

…. heres another one of those happy oinker drawings on the side of a truck taking pigs to the slaughterhouse.

Tags: animals, humanity

I wanted to write this entry for a long time, but just never got around to it with the baby and all. I think it’s important to tell, though.

One of our neighbours is a single mom living alone with her 2 children. She has a tiny old car bought from her granny. Nothing fancy, but its dependable. You don’t have to be Einstein to figure out that her budget is tight.

A few months ago I met her outside in the morning, where she told me that the car had been stolen during the night. The car was parked right next to ours outside the kitchen window. Its always locked and even secured furthermore using a steering-wheel lock. This particular night she forgot the extra lock though.

She depends highly on the car and was pretty upset. It didn’t help her mood it was the second time it had been stolen in 1 year.

The same evening I talked to her again as I came home from work. She had news. The same morning she noticed her car being driven downtown by 2 kids around 14 years old. She sprinted after the car, tore the door up and yelled profanities to the stunned kids. They immediately ran off, but later the same afternoon they were caught by the police.

End of story and everyone happy? Not quite.

Since the guilty party was found, she sent the car to repairs and had the locks repaired. Repair bill: 8.000 DKR (about 1.500USD) that of course was to be paid by the thieves or their guardians. Add to that a ticket for theft….. You’d think.

The police informed her that they would drop the ticket for the theft, as neither the kids nor their parents could pay both ticket and repair bill. This way they hoped it would encourage the thieves to least pay the repair bill. Unfortunately for my neighbour they couldn’t pay that either.

See these 2 boys are already notoriously troubled children, that aren’t living with mom and dad anymore. They live in a secured institution with 24 hour supervision close to our home. They are constantly overseen by 3 adults per youngster, giving you an idea of their attention needs. This particular night they managed to sneak off nevertheless, leaving our neighbour with a hole in her economy that only she can fill.

To make things worse, a young driver rear-ended her as she was waiting to turn off the highway a few weeks after the first repair. The car was totalled. She escaped with a minor whiplash injury which fortunately seems to have healed well. At least this time her insurance kicked in. The downside is that she’s now without a car and the insurance probably won’t pay much either for an old car. Worst case is that she only gets just enough to cover expenses from the previous repair bill, equalling even break on money, but no car.

So, the real question left is: Who’s to pay for the damage the youngsters did?

According to the law, the institution taking care of the kids can’t be held liable, and since their parents are not legal guardians they don’t have to either (and probably can’t anyway). The kids are too young for jail (you have to be 15 y. o. or older), so basically they can wreck havoc without any real punishment until they turn 15. As far as I know their punishment for the theft is ”house arrest” at the institution. Pretty much the same situation as before the theft and that doesn’t really solve my neighbour’s car/money woes, does it?

There’s a hole in the law here. What if the kids set fire to a house or even worse next time? Is no one taking responsibility for what they destroy when they can’t themselves? In my opinion, the institution (the state) should pay up in this situation, since they agreed/decided to take care of the kids. I know my neighbour shouldn’t have to suffer for other’s bad parenting; social problems or whatever indirectly instigated this problem in the first place.

What do you think?

Tags: car, crime, insurance

Last November we moved to a small rented house. It is a nice change that basically adds a small garden and a new adress but not more room unfortunately.

Of course we also got new neighbors. To one side is a young single mom with two kids, while the other is a friendly middle-aged Vietnamese family with 3 kids.

This evening our doorbell rang and I opened the door. Outside was the Vietnamese mother holding a cup. Ahh, the good old borrow some sugar routine could begin…. I thought. C recently borrowed a few eggs from them, and we already seem to have established a good relationship.

I said hello and smiled politely, while the neighbor asked for my wife. Okay, woman’s issues of sorts I guessed and called for C.

As I asked the neighbor to step inside she said: “I would like to borrow a little milk”. I was almost on my way to the kitchen when she added: “from your wife”. Uhhhm… what? That’s right, C is a wandering milk dispenser these days. Our kid is now about 2½ months old, and C is still breastfeeding. The kid is in good shape, so everyone can guess that C must be packing heat.

I looked at C’s facial expression. She looked surprised to say the least. I didn’t spot any discomfort though, and after a few assurances from the neighbor, we learned that the milk was intended for her 1 year old kid. Apparently the weather lately had dried out the boy’s eyes and fresh breast milk was the cure. 2 minutes later C sat with her back to the neighbor and I while she filled the cup. That left me attempting to striking up a conversation. Not that easy when you’re in a state between stunned and trying biting your lip too.

5 minutes later the neighbor was off again with a cup of the freshest milk you’ll find in town. Now I’m just wondering what she meant when she said: “borrow”.

Here in Denmark we have a fine tradition of mocking our animals on the way to the guillotine. Notice the drawings…

Those are a few of the trucks I have passed last year on the freeway carrying live piggies heading for the slaughterhouse. Actually 99% of all trucks here have similar pictures of overjoyed hogs painted on the side. I offer my take on a more realistic version beneath.

So now I’m just waiting for the livestock transporters to get in touch to buy for the property rights to use my more fitting drawing.

And no, I’m not a vegetarian, nor a Danish variety of Brigitte Bardot. I enjoy roast pork like the next guy. I just find the happy pigs a bit ironic.

Tags: animals, humanity

…but removing some posts and words actually helped repel the boob seeking crowd from here.

Tags: spam

…. when my wife starts messing up the garden.

It might not be pretty, but I’m rather sure its well worth it when the plants begin to give vegetables.

Tags: china vs denmark, garden, vegetables

It might not make that big of a difference, but today I marked a few old posts as “Private”.

The posts contain keywords used by visitors here, and include the name of a Chinese actress, who made quite a stir by posing the mistress of a Japanese sympathiser in a Chinese movie from 2008. In the movie there was some show of skin and it generated a lot of traffic here. Unwanted traffic really.

The result is that at least 90% of all keyword visitors come here for that only. They may all be very disappointed, as I have no raunchy pictures of her at all. Bummer, eh?

Back in those days, I posted a few entries with the keywords mostly used, as I was genuinely susprised about the whole fuzz. In hindsight, it may not have been a smart move to put more bait, so now 2 of those vouyer attracting entries are removed, while a third (including more normal stuff about me) is edited to keep the moths out of the flame.

Not sure it helps, but its worth a try.

Take a look at the latest keywords as a screenshot (see I learned a bit):

This is only a tiny part of the hits, but let me assure you that the list goes on in the very same melody.

Tags: spam

After Mark’s birth, we have a regular visitor from the city district. It’s a nurse checking up on how Mark is growing, learning and similar. It’s a normal procedure here in Denmark and a good safety precaution for us.

The other day she came around when I was working so I had to hear the following from C.

She asked C if Chinese still used bottomless pants for their kids, to which C said: “Oh no, those might be used in tiny villages, but in the bigger cities like my hometown, this was no longer the case”.

Now I look forward to the next meeting with the nurse, where C has to show her the very same kind of pants that C’s parents sent us as a gift to Mark.

I’ll make sure to post a picture of them later.

Tags: china vs denmark

Finally got hold of some pig’s feet for the missus to cook. The picture below is the end result after +2 hours boiling with cinnamon, anise seeds, garlic and ginger.

Pigs feet with cinnamon, anise seeds, garlic and ginger.... Looks erhmm...uhm, smells great, tastes... well - I dont know...

If you live in China or are Chinese, you might not find this anything special, but here in Denmark pigs feet is not considered normal food. Doesn’t look too inviting too me and I probably won’t eat em, but as long as my wife is happy. Actually smells wonderful with the spices C used, but I’d rather eat a nice bloody steak with a glass of red.

Tags: china vs denmark

Does this often happen to you too?

My wife just called from home telling me to grab some pigs feet in the supermarket for her on my way home….

Only old ladies normally go for those here in DK now that we write 2010.

Tags: china vs denmark, marriage

Overheard today:

• Half asleep I notice C come into the bedroom. She takes a quick glance at my leg and mumbles: “What a big leg – looks very tasty!” (I know she aren’t talking to me).
• Watch C check out a strange plate of hash-looking stuff her girlfriend gave her while muttering: “This is partially made of donkey skin. It says it helps you regain hemoglobin after recent blood loss”.

Tags: china vs denmark, marriage, wife